White Ninja

Up until this point I’ve refused to review a comic I haven’t read the entire archives of, but now I’m starting to realize that, with a weekly update schedule, maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself. I bring this up because I decided to try an review White Ninja and I just… I just couldn’t. I know I’ve reviewed some bad comics on here, but at least the really bad ones were entertainingly bad. I think I mentioned in my Wicked Powered review that I felt like the whole comic could very well be trying to be so deliberately awful that it’s kind of funny. White Ninja has some of the same deal going for it: you can tell from the moment you see it that there is a lot of deliberate awfulness; in the art, in the writing, in the layout… Everything about this comic is designed to be bad.

Here, I’m going to explain 80% of all of White Ninja’s nearly 1000 strips to you in one sentence: White Ninja sets up a punchline, then does or says something absurdest that is only marginally related to the setup. Repeat for years, become poster child for ironic hipsters. Really, that’s what this review is about. Whoever is making White Ninja has deliberately been making a bad comic for years, and somehow people have convinced themselves that the fact that they’re doing it on purpose just turns the whole thing around to good. I think that people just convince themselves that the comic is actually funny because they don’t get the jokes and don’t want anyone to notice.

I will give the comic this much: it is as close to “random” as you’re likely to get in a comic. I’m sure you’ve met those people who say, “random” as though it’s a compliment or sign of quality, but if you’ve read enough of my reviews by now, you’ll know I’m not one of them. Just because something is random does not automatically make it funny, and I just can’t stand how many people seem to think otherwise. White Ninja goes the extra mile, though, and not only acts random, but has somehow convinced people that it’s deep. Seriously: website that posts a White Ninja comic and you’ll see long, convoluted arguments about the series. People show up and defend this comic, and feel all great about themselves because they “get” it, and the rest of us are just wallowing in our ignorance. I submit that I do get the comics; I understand the humor, I see the jokes, what have you. It’s just not funny. I’m past that age where I’ll laugh at something just because it’s “random”. In all honesty, the deliberate non-humor just comes off as boring when I forced myself to actually sit down and read it.

What can I even say about this that you shouldn’t already know? I feel like I’m insulting my audience’s intelligence just by recognizing this comic. “Hey guys, that deliberately awful comic? It turns out it’s actually pretty bad.” It sort of reminds me of when I got a peek into the inner workings of Powerup Comics, a deliberately awful comic that parodied bad gamer webcomics (and Ctrl-Alt-Del in particular). The only humor in the series was in reveling in the awfulness. Sort of like a webcomic version of “The Aristocrats”. There was really nothing for viewers to see and enjoy; it was just a private gag amongst a group of friends that somehow other parts of the internet (i.e.: me) started bumping into. It only really became funny when you saw it from the other side and realized it was basically just a fun, if immature, prank.

Is that the joke that everyone keeps telling me I’m not “getting”? That White Ninja is an elaborate prank on the world? A deliberate pile of garbage placed on a pedestal just enough to make me hate all the people who praise it? Hell, I’d be all for that. I just wish I’d thought of it first. But no, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. Powerup Comics died because that joke only lasts so long; even the people who were in on it got tired of the charade and moved on. I think it mostly had to do with the fact that it was all fake became common knowledge. If White Ninja was all just a joke, someone would have spilled the beans by now. White Ninja is not funny and it’s not creative. It doesn’t think outside the box and it doesn’t challenge your perception of what a comic is or what it has to be. It’s a deliberately bad comic made by two lucky dudes who get to make a decent amount of money while putting as little effort as possible into their work. That’s the joke. Ha fucking ha.