Ninja Turtles No Longer “Teenage,” Get Jobs, Start Paying Taxes

Reboots are a funny thing.  Sometimes you get great ideas — Rise of the Planet of the Apes was, surprisingly, one of the most acclaimed movies of 2011; the Christopher Nolan reboot of Batman rebuilt the movie character for a new generation; The Amazing Spider-Man looks pretty good from the trailer. But then there’s reboots that just don’t work.  The Punisher: War Zone springs to mind.  So what will you be, Michael Bay version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Well, first off, you’ll just be “Ninja Turtles,” dropping the “Teenage Mutant,” because you’re no longer mutants — you’re aliens!  Predictably, this has set off a huge firestorm on the Internet, up to and including the voice actor who portrayed Michaelangelo in the films saying Bay is “sodomizing” the Turtles. Overreact much? Now, we can’t really argue that TMNT was something good and pure when it was around in the ’80s; it was a highly commercialized cartoon with lots of toys (that often reached into the absurd) and a Vanilla Ice cameo (complete with new song “Ninja Rap”) in their second movie. (And bringing back the turtles to say “Cowabunga!” and “Far out!” would be so outdated as to be ludicrous.) So let’s not pretend the cartoon was some bastion of artistic integrity.  (I have no opinion on the comic book, which was very clearly its own separate thing from the cartoon.)

People will see the movie regardless, because it’s Michael Bay and it’s of course going to get a huge marketing push.  The Internet furor will die down over time.  Let’s see what Michael Bay actually does with the Turtles before we declare it RUINED FOREVER, eh?


About the Author

Benton Sartore has been reading comic books off and on since his age was in single digits, and playing RPGs since college. He enjoys a variety of comic books, TV shows, and movies, and he's a little too proud of his DVD collection. And for some stupid reason, he can't let go of Star Wars, no matter how much dumb stuff the franchise does. Benton is also an acting editor at In Genre.